Sobriety
by wikhfic
Summary: It was Sora's 20th birthday, and that meant he was officially an adult. And being an adult meant he could drink. It'd be fun. Right? [Soriku] [Edit: soon to be extended]


A salty sea breeze felt undeniably better during a summer break, he concluded, especially if that break was from the most hectic semester of his college existence. It was late in the season, only a few weeks before the stress returned, but with his bare feet stretched out and his clothes loose Sora couldn't be bothered. Soaking in the afternoon sun on the roof of his parents' house he relished in this new habit without consequence, his already-golden brown skin darkening with his hair. Most days he brought along a side-distraction, but today he felt contended by nature alone, its dancing critters and unseen magic stirring up a busy orchestra; it was a delightful change of pace from the overwhelming mess of a 20th-birthday party his parents' hosted for him yesterday. If it weren't for Riku and Kairi being there, he wouldn't know how to make it through the night. He appreciated every little action his parents did for him, truly, but he stopped caring for large birthday celebrations since the islands first fell to darkness, if not earlier. After all that chaos, he wanted nothing more than to spend the supposed "big two-oh" with his closest friends, longing for the everyday to be as simple as it was five years ago. He could save the world twice over and take on any foe, but he could never put things back to the way they were. Like a hungry fly it nagged at him when he least expected it, the thoughts intensifying throughout the years.

With a well-timed vibration in his shorts pocket, Sora's phone asserted itself over his busy thoughts. An effortless flip open later and a name he had been hoping for gleamed off the screen. He pressed the call button, pulling the dated piece of technology up to his flush ear contentedly. "Wow, long time no see!" he snickered, wondering if he should've said "hear" instead of "see."

Riku laughed dryly from the other end. "I could just hang up, if that's what you want."

"Nah, I'm just messin' around. What's up?"

There was a pause. "Uh, this is practically your birthday _week_. It's required that we do something."

"Yeah? Hmm." Sora shifted on his towel. "But I'm all wiped out from that party last night and…oh, I got an idea!"

"Uh-oh," Riku teased, though it went right past Sora as he carried on with his idea.

"Well Kairi's back in her summer classes, either that or seeing Selphie as usual, otherwise I'd have us all do something, but,"—he realized how easy it was for him to ramble—"I haven't seen your new apartment yet. I could go over there in a bit?" There was a faint rise in his tone, choosing too late to turn a statement into a question.

Riku must've picked up on the doubt, a small laugh preceding his words. "Sure thing. You know you're always welcome, right?" Before Sora could explain himself, Riku continued. "I'll text you the address, it's not too far from you."

"Got it. See ya soon." With a confirmation hum from Riku he hung up, a text delivered shortly thereafter as promised. His eyes scanned each line repetitively until he had it down perfectly. Feeling confident in his memory, he shoved the phone down his pocket and stretched, the head rush hitting him as roughly as the heat. After some recovery he knelt back inside the house, scurrying down a single flight of stairs before entering his room to prepare.

Anticipating a sleepover of sorts (as per usual whenever he had spent time with Riku in the past), he grabbed a school backpack, mindlessly packing essentials, a movie or two, and, feeling creative, an entire game console from his childhood. Luckily for him it was so old that it hardly carried any weight with it. Satisfied with his selection, he slung the pack over his shoulder and darted for the small back room of the house to ready his bicycle.

After setting his bike outside from the mudroom, he locked the door behind him and proceeded to the side of the house. Just around the corner in a pool of leafy green and brown structures were several crops, few in better shape than others, and only one in Sora's eyes. Using some plain garden shears he separated the harvest from its interlocking vines and inspected it intently: fine dust brushed off its rounded curves, its stem glittered with soot; a beautiful work of art underneath earthly remnants. He washed it under a small hose, the sticky heat doing wonders to drying it, and the result was a near-perfect cultivation. With a proud nod he pulled a designed bag from his pack and expanded it in one fell swoop, placing his creation down into it cautiously. He secured the bag onto his bicycle's rear basket, flicked up the kickstand with the toe of his shoe, and hoisted himself up onto the seat to set off.

* * *

It had been too long since he really used his bike, but everything felt comfortable. The ride was as smooth as it could've ever been, the dazzling sun and cloud-spotted sky blending with the environment. It was a pleasant blur, one that could guide you to the ends of the earth and back without ever feeling lost. _"If only Riku had always been this easy to reach,"_ he mused to himself lightheartedly, a contortion of nostalgia and déjà vu growing in his chest. But the thoughts left just as quickly as they came as the apartment complex entered his sight.

It was a humble two-story building just shy of twenty-or-so doors, a single staircase leading to the second floor where he could see clothes dotting the balcony rails. It didn't take long for him to spot Riku's; he knew those yellow and blue clothes anywhere. He locked his bike around a nearby pole, grabbed his belongings, and, with a curious smile, hurried up the metal steps. As he approached his destination he could smell a rich aroma in the air, yet even as he stood knocking on Riku's door he had a hard time believing such a thing could come from inside. A voice called out from beyond the door, which promptly opened to reveal a somewhat frazzled-looking Riku cloaked in that powerful scent. It filled Sora's nostrils and made a home in his lungs. He stood rooted in awe; it was such a delicious fragrance, his lack of expectation luring him all the more. All he could make out of it was cream with a little bit of fish, but it didn't matter. Whatever it was, he wanted seconds already.

"Uh, Sora?"

Sora hadn't realized how he had been standing there admiring the smell until Riku's voice landed in his ears, his entranced eyes finding their way back to his best friend, who was now sporting a quizzical expression. "Sorry, I—oh!" Sora brought out the embellished bag he had been holding behind his back and lifted it, revealing a perfectly grown melon of speckled green with pale netting like lightning. Holding it out with both hands, he trailed off, "I know it's kinda silly but…"

Riku, who had been shaking his head with closed eyes, started to protest. "Wait, wasn't it just _your_ birthday? Haven't we got this back—" Upon looking at the gift he cut himself short, his eyes widening. "How did you…?" He took the fruit in his hands and turned it over as if in a daze, tracing his fingers over its netting. "These are so expensive," he muttered under his breath and out of reach from Sora's ears.

Sora tilted his head and, upon realizing what Riku must've been thinking, waved his hand in front of his face. "No, no, it's not like that! This one is, ah, well it's not _exactly_ like all those other melons, um. You see, my family's been trying to grow those kinda melons for a while and we just don't have the right equipment and—" he could tell he was beginning to prattle on, so he got right to the point, subconsciously rubbing the back of his neck, "—well, this one was the best I could come up with after a year and I thought you oughta have it."

Riku still looked awestruck. "It's just like the ones in the store." He turned it bottom-up and lightly pressed his thumb against the curves, leaving a slight impression. "It's ripe—we should have some after dinner," he proclaimed and walked back to the kitchen, placing the melon delicately on a counter to be cut later. "Now get in before the cicadas do."

All Sora could do was chuckle to himself and go with the flow. "Whatever you say, Riku." It really wasn't a big deal to him, but there was no stopping Riku for however he was feeling. He closed the door behind him, taking his shoes off and placing them on a small rack by the door. He tugged at his socks to make sure they wouldn't slip off his slender ankles and expose his feet to the wooden floors, which seemed too nice even for his socks. And then it hit him. "Wait a minute, 'after dinner'?" Sora would be lying to himself if he said he didn't want some of Riku's cooking, its aroma still lingering heavily in the air, but he wasn't about to assume the food was for him—though he probably should by now.

Riku glanced over his shoulder from the stove and reasserted himself. "Yeah, 'after dinner.' You think I'd let the birthday boy and my _best friend_ go hungry?" He smiled pleasantly, the sort of smile Sora never witnessed too often. "Besides, it's just shrimp scampi. I couldn't get any basil so I just tossed some nori flakes on it." Sora had no idea what shrimp scampi was, but he didn't care; it smelled amazing and it was all going to the same place anyway.

Sora stepped up out from the entrance way and gawked at how tidy and _adult_ everything appeared. To his left was a small open room with a couch that could barely hold three people, a decent-sized TV its opposite, a small collection of entertainment, and a glimpse of the balcony through curtains and blinds, Riku's yellow and blue garments visible through the cracks. The room opened up into a small eating area to to his right, a low rectangular table with three floor chairs in the center and an oscillating fan in the corner. This dining room transitioned to a kitchen area which looked more like countertop space for electric appliances and _maybe_ a fridge somewhere. Straight ahead he could see a hallway leading to what he concluded were the bed and wash rooms. Everything was more or less open and compact, with boxes and things neatly tucked away in corners or against walls. It was clear Riku hadn't been here long as the space was plain save for a few pictures here and there, but it didn't make a difference. Everything else just felt so Riku that it worked. He was a bit envious, having still lived with his parents, but it was a fleeting feeling in the presence of his best friend.

After his own personal mini-tour, Sora casually moved to the TV room to eye the collection of media, the game-to-movie ratio strongly in game's favor. He slid his bag off his shoulder to the floor by the couch, his eyes switching from one plastic case to the next before calling out to Riku, who was preparing the final touches on dinner. "What'd'ya wanna watch?" Before waiting for a response, he turned around to see Riku standing there with two full plates' edges in his hands, his head motioning toward the table.

"We'll figure it out _after dinner_."

* * *

_"Hey Riku, how come you never went to your 20th ceremony? The whole island put on a big celebration and everything for you so-called adults. Tidus and them all went…I think. I can't wait for mine, it's gonna be—"_

_"Fun? Yeah, try again. It's a bunch of boring government-type stuff and 'expanded rights' this and 'responsibility' that. I mean, of course I get it, it's important, but if you ask me the real 'ceremony' starts when everyone's off having fun."_

_"Oh, right, all those parties you totally go to, huh?"_

_"Hey I never said I _went _to them, I just know what people actually do."_

_"Yeah but you still drink like they do, even though I don't really get it."_

_"No, I—it's different. They all have each other and it's all good for them. For me, it's not really, I don't really have anyone to—look it's just different. Now are you gonna finish that or what?"_

_"Heh, man, I'm never gonna get the truth from you."_

* * *

Sora was having a hard time keeping himself awake the whole film, the dinner still leaving him warm and lulled, the muggy weather catching up to him. The glow of the TV flickered across their faces like candlelight, acting as their main light source. Riku sat on one end of the couch with ankles crossed, Sora on the other with curled knees. Even though it wasn't a place he had gotten accustomed to yet, everything else sure felt like it. Even how and where they sat were all too routine. They had done this sort of event countless times before at their parents' homes; Riku was even lucky enough to have a small TV in his room! This feeling was familiar indeed, but something was forming in the pit of his chest that he couldn't quite understand, a creeping that found its way in since his commute.

His wandering mind came to a halt at the sound of Riku's humming, a concerned question following shortly after, one Sora didn't quite catch but assumed was along the lines of _"Are you okay?" _Apparently he could be read like a book.

"Hmm? Oh," he tried to continue before being interrupted by the sudden change in darkness as the credits screen went black. "What next?"

Riku shrugged. "I picked the movie, it's your turn."

With a grin Sora bent over and sifted excitedly through his bag, pulling out the old console and games. "I'm an adult now, so obviously I have to celebrate by playing games from our childhood," he remarked sarcastically, hopping off the couch to set everything up.

Riku laughed. "Fine, you win, but _I'm_ gonna celebrate you finally joining adulthood with some adult beer."

He mockingly enunciated his words, already knowing Sora's attitude toward the stuff and not bothering to ask, more so out of respect than having given up on him. But as Sora started up the system, he hesitated.

"Hey, Riku." His words were slow, staggered. "Think I could try some?" He could hear Riku pausing in his motions at the fridge.

"Since when do you like alcohol?" he asked in a joking voice though his question seemed sincere.

"Well, maybe the stuff my dad gave me that one time was just really bad," Sora proposed rhetorically, unraveling a controller aimlessly and scooting back against the bottom-front of the couch, reminiscing of the day his father gave him warm shochu and he swore never to touch alcohol again. "You drink, and you love it…kinda…right? And I mean, I _am_ twenty now," he added as if he needed to convince Riku. Or maybe himself. But Riku respected even this decision, as shown with his return to the open room with two cold bottles in one hand and a bottle opener in the other.

"Alright," he cracked alongside two tops, "your call." He handed an opened bottle down to Sora. "But if you puke you're on your own." Sora rolled his eyes and took the bottle; he knew that was a lie.

Riku plopped down on the couch to Sora's left, taking a swig of the bubbling ale, with Sora following on cue. He held the drink close to his face and peered down its neck, its deep orange and yellow liquid radiating with the sunset through the balcony shutters. Something resonated in his chest, a conflicting pang of nostalgia and fear, a mixing of childhood familiarity with future unknown. And he didn't like it one bit, casting each thought to the side with his first gulp, though one glide over his tongue and down his throat made him regret everything. It was horrible, no better or worse than the stuff his dad gave him years ago; just straight up horrible. His face twisted and his nose wrinkled but he downed the taste of it despite the bitterness. (What was he going to do, just spit it out?) He was grateful for having faced away from Riku, trying to put up a front that he could handle it as much as possible, but even he couldn't fake it through an entire bottle. So he set it down on the bare floor just out of Riku's sight, hoping the rest of the night would go by without him ever noticing.

Riku came up for air with a refreshed sigh, the bottle clinking against wood as he stood it on an end table. "You know I always kick your butt in this game, right?"

Sora challenged the claim with a jab to Riku's leg, a single bead of sweat sliding down his neck from the summer heat.

* * *

Time passed as swiftly as the rounds where Riku's fighting became weaker and weaker, snacks and bottles littered about on the end table. By now there were four beers in Riku, along with a mixture of stuff Sora wasn't sure of except that there was a lot of it. Sora leaned forward keenly on the floor, his brows furrowed in concentration, knowing he had an undoubted chance of winning this time. Riku, by contrast, was on the edge of the cushion muttering things left and right though all but incoherently. As Sora finished a combo on him, he gave up with a final groan, letting himself fall to his side against the couch, the controller rolling out of his palm to the ground.

"Hey be careful, this stuff's old!" Sora nearly dove for the controller, turning it over between his fingers to ensure nothing was broken, cutting short his brief victory celebration. But Riku didn't seem too worried: he merely attempted a _"Sorry"_ in between stifled laughter against the couch cushion. After Sora determined the controller was safe, he situated himself back into his original spot and placed it on the couch over his shoulder without ever taking his eyes off the TV, ready for another round of virtual butt-kicking.

A hush came over the room, only the game's menus audible through the weak stereo speakers. As Sora fiddled through options and screens he felt a faint sensation at his neck and a light ruffle through his hair. Reflexively he swiped at the spot with his hand, thinking it to be a mosquito or other bloodsucker, but was startled to feel the tip of fingernail, the slight crease of knuckle, and the warmth of skin. He whipped around to see Riku still laying on his side staring with heavy lids, a glint of soothed admiration in his eyes, one arm now curled up by his chest and the other dangling over the edge of the seat. Sora kept his hand over the spot on his neck, rubbing out of nervous habit, not sure what to make of the visual.

"Hey," Riku drawled with a giggle, a curious smile making its way to his lips.

Sora raised his brows skeptically, unable to comprehend that a guy like him was giggling. "'Hey' yourself," he retorted and shoved a pillow at Riku's side, though his thoughts were far from playful. He had never seen him like this and it—intrigued him? Troubled him? He couldn't quite place it. When his family drank, he at least knew what came next. With Riku, he didn't have a clue. But he figured there was nothing to do but resume the night and try not to think anything of it. He had seen stranger things in his travels, he remembered. Surely he could handle this.

Turning his back on Riku, he unpaused the game. "Fine, I'll just play by myself," he teased and started off on a solo mission.

The ruffling of pillow fabric sounded off behind him, weight shifting slightly on the cushion he used as support. He assumed Riku was sitting back up to play, but his intuition failed him when warm air reached his neck, a voice deep in its chamber crooning at his ear. "It feels like it's been so long."

Sora tensed up, Riku's words reverberating. He didn't want to move; he couldn't remember _how_ to move. All he could do was continue to aimlessly press buttons, going through the motions without understanding why. The screen was nothing more than dancing colors he could no longer focus on. He swallowed hard. "So long…since what?" he asked with a shaking in his voice. He felt obligated to ask—less obligated to know the answer.

"Since I could have you to myself," the warm air replied moistly on his neck, forcing his hairs to stand on end. Head nestled against neck. Eyelashes fluttered and made contact with skin. Goosebumps scattered across Sora's body. His heart jumped into his throat in what he thought was a stopped pulse. Chills ran up and down his spine, his throat barren in attempts to swallow again. All sense of familiarity was now melting and reshaping with that bottled apprehension. Unheard whispers were insisting that Riku wouldn't do this, but his heart couldn't quite agree.

Sora scrambled away to compose himself, his heart ready to burst from its cavity. In the process he accidentally knocked over the full bottle he had been hiding, hastily steadying it back up despite the small puddle already forming. In a frenzy he jumped to his feet, feeling this a perfect opportunity to detract himself from the situation and get paper towels, mumbling fretted words under his breath as he staggered to the kitchen area. "Oh, ah, lemme get—ah—_shit_—" Nothing about him was composed. He didn't even know where the paper towels might be, but his brain was on autopilot to find them.

Sora scanned every countertop and cabinet until he saw a roll hanging on an underside rack. He drew a generous overestimation of sheets before tearing, his mind in fluttering thoughts. Quickly he shuffled back to the small puddle of liquid and knelt to work at the spill like it was his job, eyes fixed on the ground. From his peripherals he saw Riku reposition himself, lift his upper body with his arms, then slowly sit up.

"You're avoiding me."

"I'm not avoiding you," Sora denied, feigning jest.

"Prove it."

Sora was at a loss, knowing the truth in Riku's words and the transparency in his own behavior. He eased himself backwards onto the floor, dropping the remaining paper towel as if admitting defeat. He extended his arms firmly between his crossed legs and sat there. He turned his head to the side to engage, barely making eye contact.

"I'm not avoiding you," he repeated solemnly and waited.

Riku slid to the floor and propped himself up by his heels beside Sora, who could feel those eyes set intently upon him. Sora began biting his lip anxiously, his body stiff. Why was he acting this way? It was just Riku, his best friend of god knows how many years, so why was it making him this uneasy? He sensed Riku making way into his personal space again, and he braced himself.

"So you won't run if I do this?" Riku tested, delicate arms placing themselves around Sora's torso from behind, forehead rubbing against the back of his neck.

Sora bit his lip so hard he thought it would bleed. "No, I won't.

"Then why are you so cold?"

He could smell the liquor on his breath, a stark contrast from the Riku who was wrapped in delicious aroma mere hours ago, a scent he was already longing for. "Because you're drunk."

"I know that's not the only reason."

There was a nibble at his neck coupled with expelled breaths and Sora inhaled sharply, his heart nearly stopping. Heat crawled up his neck and to his ears, his cheeks reddening. Everything stood on end and he was losing control; the spot was just so sensitive he couldn't help himself. He grabbed Riku's forearm reflexively, his other hand covering his mouth in embarrassment, pleasured sounds slipping through his fingers.

"Why are you holding back?" Riku questioned, his tongue dragging across Sora's salty skin, their bodies pressed against each other. Sora bit firmly at a finger of his cupped hand, his throat vibrating. Now he was beginning to regret letting it go on the way it was. He had to do something. He couldn't let Riku carry things out unable to think clearly for himself, unable to make proper judgement. He didn't know what it was like to be drunk, but he knew this shouldn't be happening—not this way.

Wiping a bit of saliva from his lips he unsteadily pulled at Riku's arms and led them off his body, turning around deliberately, his breathing heavy. "You're drunk," he reiterated sternly, clinging to whatever sway he still owned, their eyes meeting for the first time in hours. He never knew Riku's eyes could look so lackluster.

"I'm fine. You're the one who seems to have a problem," Riku slurred, pointing at Sora's flushed cheeks.

Sora broke eye contact momentarily. "Maybe because I have no idea what you're trying to pull." He didn't want to think of the pleasure Riku had just brought him, nor did he want to end this altogether. He didn't know where he was going, but he couldn't stop.

Riku recoiled slightly and looked to the floor. "I'm not 'trying to pull' anything."

"Sure doesn't seem like it."

"I just. Have a lot to say."

"So why do you show instead of tell? I can't read your mind like that." Sora was leaning forward just as he did during their match.

"It's all I've ever done. It's all I know how to do."

He felt insulted. "But it's just me. You can't tell your best friend the truth?"

Riku fidgeted in place, his lip twitching. "You don't understand—"

"Well maybe I would if you just told me," he interjected without giving Riku a chance to explain. Normally he had a sort of filter, but he was entering a part of himself only Riku could bring out.

"It's a problem, I know, but this isn't so simple." Riku's head was hanging now.

Sora remarked to himself how Riku looked like a dejected puppy scolded by its owner, and part of him was beginning to feel guilty. But his tone rose regardless, his stare-down unwavering. "Then fix it, right now, and just _tell_ me!"

Riku lifted his gaze, staring back at Sora with dulled jade eyes, his lips parting with a heavy burden. "I love you."

The sentence faded to nothing more than a murmur, static electricity surging through Sora's body. He kept hearing the phrase in his mind like a broken record, yet time slowed to a crawl, Riku's mouth still ghosting the final vowel.

"Oh no. No, no, no, no, not like this," Sora muttered and wrapped his arms tightly around Riku. He was diving into the unknown pit of his heart, yielding completely to the moment and everything he had been fighting. "Why did you have to tell me like this?" his voice trailed off, a knot lodged in his throat. Did he force it out of him?

Riku went limp in his arms, not caring to keep himself balanced as the two lowered to the ground. He didn't say a word, didn't move an inch for several painful moments. Sora's arms and hands tingled under the pressure of their bodies, but he was frozen in place, his figure sprawled out like deadweight. He stared blankly at the crosshatching in Riku's shirt, refusing to make the next move.

"Can I at least have you until I fall asleep?" Riku chimed in after the silence grew too loud, Sora caving once more as he fought back tears.

"Sure," he managed through a sniffle, cursing internally for falling apart so easily.

Riku assumed control, shifting weight to his side and curling Sora's body into his own in one jumbled motion. The hold over him was firm but tender, the kind of embrace Sora never believed could happen to him. It was warm and welcoming, safe yet secluding. He felt Riku's chin rest against the top of his head, a voice reaching out to him, his heart soon breaking.

"I'd still love you even if you did run."

The way Riku's words rang through his ears and filled the air sent Sora over the edge, no longer able to keep from tearing up. He pressed his face against Riku's shoulder, letting the sleeves soak up his free-falling tears, his shoulders quivering in their shared embrace.

* * *

_Riku was out cold in a matter of minutes, Sora far behind. Restless and forlorn, Sora faintly called out to him, gently brushing bangs out of his eyes. His hand hovered there, eyes lingering on that placid yet pained face. He was reminded of their Mark of Mastery Exam and how he had failed to watch over Riku once his heart safely awoke. Maybe now, he figured, he could redeem himself, however different the circumstances. _

_Letting the silky strands of hair fall through his fingers he sighed, slipped himself out from Riku's arms, and lifted him up onto the couch with great effort, too worn to bother bringing him all the way to the bedroom. He bent down to the cool wooden floor on his side and placed his head atop the cushions, his hand reaching out to Riku's arm. He watched over him until his eyelids could no longer keep themselves open._

_"Nothing's ever simple, is it?" he asked the air, his eyes closing on Riku shifting and moaning in his sleep._

* * *

The sun had long since rose, Sora having awoken earlier than planned. He couldn't sleep, the day's events keeping him unwanted company throughout the ungodly waking hours of the morning. He was hunched over in a floor chair in the dining area, reliving the previous night vividly. His hands shook as his heart worked overtime to keep him awake and aware. Every now and then he would glance over at Riku, half hoping he was awake, half hoping he was asleep. He had no idea how to address last night, if at all. The thought of this caused his eyebrows to furrow and he hastily sipped at his tea to drown out the negativity. But like most things nagging him lately, they never truly went away; it would all come back eventually, like a gnat in hiding. He peered over to his left at the gift melon he brought, its condition unchanged from the day prior, waiting for Riku to wake up before cutting it. Maybe eating it would distract him from talking about it.

Sora set his cup down on the wooden table with a thud, muffled grunts and yawns following thereafter. He turned to Riku who was stirring into waking, his fingers aggressively rubbing his head. There was hesitation in those actions and Sora figured he'd help him return to consciousness. "'Morning," he cooed softly, knowing neither of them could handle loud noises.

Riku jerked around, grabbing his head in regret for the sudden movement. "Morning already?" he laughed, immediately sucking his teeth in pain. He pushed himself off the couch and stumbled into the kitchen, grabbing headache medicine and a tall glass. "Man, I feel like I got hit by a truck."

"You could say that," Sora jabbed, playing it safe until further notice. "I made some tea if you want." He paused. "Sorry for using your tea."

Riku shook his head, already downing the pills and full glass of water. "It's fine. And I think I'll live." He composed himself and eased into a floor chair across from Sora with a deep exhale. "What happened last night, anyway?"

Sora blinked, tilting his head forward incredulously. "You don't remember?"

Riku pursed his lips and shrugged, his eyes turning upright as he tried to recall. "Nothing. I must've been really messed up, and it wasn't even _my_ birthday."

Sora could feel his heart working vigorously again. "Really?" He looked down at his tea, which never seemed so interesting before.

"Wait, I do remember something."

His grip tightened around the warm cup as he braced himself.

"I kicked your ass in that game, right?" Riku smirked slyly and a wave of relief washed over Sora.

"Yeah, totally," he snickered, not wanting to correct him lest he delve into the night's happenings. But as their exchange went on Sora could feel a clenching in his chest. Riku's confession rested deeply within him now, and yet he couldn't remember a thing about it. It was dangerous information, a weapon in the wrong hands, and he was afraid to be the one holding onto it. If only Riku could remember, then maybe it wouldn't be so frightening, but how would he even bring it up? How would it make anything better? Where was he to go from here?

Sora snapped out of his daze at Riku's sudden piping up, "Oh hey, you grabbed the melon—let's try some." Without another word he reached over the table and grabbed the fruit and knife, cutting it on the spot. In his hungover mindset he didn't bother with hospitality and offered a slice sans plate.

Sora grabbed the pale green fruit with the ends of his fingers, gazing at its uneven shape before bringing it to his lips. In the back of his mind those persistent thoughts drummed, guilt-tripping him for holding back the truth, guilt-tripping him for the power he now possessed. He careened between preserving the status quo between them and spilling his secret, which was really Riku's secret, but Sora's version held much more consequence. Giving in to self-preservation, he knew what benefits came from remaining quiet. He would walk out of there unscathed, the secret buried forever, and it devoured him whole.

He bit into the wet slice and held back a grimace; the flavor was more bitter than he had anticipated. Across from him Riku smiled pleasantly, the sort of smile he never witnessed too often.

※ ※ ※ ※ ※


End file.
